My family gives birthday presents until we turn 18. From that point forward you get a birthday dinner surrounded by ones who love you.
To me-a food lover, this is perfect. I don’t have any needs and only a few wants. So, for my family just to gather around and spend time together is perfect.
My nieces and nephews, the first year that Josh and I were married; were in a transition period. Each set of kids (from a different godsister)- 3- brothers/sister and 2-brother/sister, were having to get used to the idea of one of their divorced parents remarrying.
We made the best of the situation with them, trying to remain excited that they would get new brothers/sisters. Their parent who was moving on would be happy, which in turn would help them to have times of happiness.
They were resilient and seemed to be getting used to the idea of having another side of family from their step parents.
Then came the time when they didn’t know I was listening to their conversation. It wasn’t as though I was eavesdropping, I just happened to hear one of the 5 say: “Yea, we get a lot more from our step parents side than we do here.” 😱😔😑😠😡 <<<<< yea this was my facial expressions. I went from shocked, sad, irritated, mad, to furious. How DARE these children, who do they think they are that they deserve $1,000 for Christmas? And from EACH side?
I work too hard for my money, and obviously they didn’t appreciate the sacrifice that Josh and I were making so that they would each have a small Christmas gift. Our small gesture was cast aside like it meant nothing. They were holding a new family member, who didn’t know them at all like I did, at a higher level of respect because he/she gave $100 a piece or more. 😖
So that Christmas (2015) I decided that the next Christmas, as well as every Birthday, starting in the new year of 2016, we would NOT give gifts. Yep. You read that right. NO GIFTS.
I wrote up a note that told them how much I loved them, and that I wanted them to appreciate acts of kindness, and sacrifices of others to make them happy more than I wanted them to appreciate cash/money/gift cards. I explained that we would no longer give gifts. We would give experiences.
So that’s what we have done. Each birthday, the child gets a day with Aunt Jenna and Uncle Josh. We go somewhere, we eat and have a phone free (mostly, except for pictures) experience.
We have went to the movies, had sleepovers, went bowling, bonfire, went to Big Air- Trampoline Park. We have ate at Cracker Barrel (we really love that place) and Cook Out.
We build a memory with each child, one I treasure. And I hope and pray that they do too.
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